The Most Impossible Club of All

Central Serpentis Sparkling Transmitter
Genesis Region – Reya Constellation
Hirizan System – Planet VIII
Wiyrkomi Corporation Factory Station

26 July YC 122

I boarded the capsule, turned Aura on and was greeted by her angry voice.

“Hey, what’s that? You said that you would go out for a lunch.”

I made an innocent face, “So I did.”

“That was 17 days, 19 hours and 44 minutes ago! Where have you been all this time? I know you, humans, are slow, but surely it doesn’t take that much time to refuel. Or did you meet Yakub again?” Continue reading “The Most Impossible Club of All”

Dangerous Capsules

Genesis Region – Mih Constellation
Zoohen System – Planet III
Theology Council Tribunal

14 June YC 122

I briefly popped back to Zoohen to drop off the loot and was about to undock when Neocom chimed indicating that there was a new transaction. Aura checked the wallet and her eyes grew wide.

“Look here! Someone has just donated 250 million kredits to you!”

“Who did that?” asked I, more surprised than pleased.

“A lady, apparently,” replied Aura and smirked, “So you don’t remember what you were doing those 3 days after receiving the medal?”

“What are you trying to insinuate?”

Aura looked innocent, “I dunno. Maybe you had an affair and made some lonely, and rich, lady so-o-o happy…”

I snorted, “I wish! Actually, not. I don’t. If it’s true then I probably missed the best part of the celebration. Does the lady have a name?” Continue reading “Dangerous Capsules”

Morning(s) After

Genesis Region – Mih Constellation
Zoohen System – Planet III
Theology Council Tribunal

11 June YC 122

The last three days were a bit of a blur. It all started with corporate drinks; I had a few to celebrate my award. Then there was an after-party where everyone felt obliged to shout a drink for me. Then I didn’t remember much. The next morning I went to a cafe for breakfast. It turned out that my circadian cycle was not in sync with the local rhythm, and what I thought to be morning was actually late afternoon by the local wall-clock. So instead of muesli and yogurt buffet I was greeted by a dinner menu and a new group of Signaleers who were unable to attend the previous day’s meeting in person. They dragged me to a bar where I received my breakfast, lunch and dinner, all together in a liquid form. Then I didn’t remember much. Continue reading “Morning(s) After”

Heretic Encounter Debrief

Region B-R00008 – Constellation B-C00062
System J153003

6 June YC 122

Replaying the incident at Ruined Serpentis Monument Site in my mind, I realised how incredibly lucky I was. Acting intuitively and flying blindly, I managed to escape a prepared attack by a dedicated hunter in an interdictor. I say “prepared attack” because the location of the Monument site was obviously pre-scanned – I didn’t see any probes in space. Still, there were some inconsistencies in my recollection which I decided to discuss with Aura.

“One thing that I don’t understand is how that dictor managed to approach us so quickly from the 60-kilometre distance. The warp disrupt probe range is just 20 klicks, so it had to fly 8 km per second to cover that distance before I could align,” mused I aloud. Continue reading “Heretic Encounter Debrief”

All’s Horrorshow That Ends Horrorshow

Uncloaking Buzzard in Magnetar System
Anoikis

6 June YC 122

From 3 May YC 122 my Anoikis roams were driven not only by corporate duty and pecuniary interest but also by scientific research into profitability of various exploration doctrines which, one may say, was also driven by pecuniary interest. In practice, it meant that after exploring Class 1, 2 or 3 system Aura had to note the number of scanned and hacked data and relic sites and record the appraisal of the obtained loot or, if I was unlucky, loss of the said loot and the encompassing ship. The idea was that after 50 systems we would calculate P&L and use the resulting figure as a measure of the doctrine’s success.

Flying through J-Space I tried to find out who lived in all those loosely connected systems. It was a bit like driving through countryside and reading the names of small towns and villages. For example, I found systems occupied by Phakt INC, Pleasure Holes Cartel and Overheat but Hole Inc. I thought they would make a fine alliance. Continue reading “All’s Horrorshow That Ends Horrorshow”

Cowardly Buzzard

Region E-R00027 – Constellation E-C00271
System J212203

3 May YC 122

The wormhole from Thera expelled us into a Class 5 J-Space system which started a rather disappointing chain of C4’s and C5’s. In one system I found an abandoned flight of Hornet EC-300 drones, checked if my Buzzard grew a drone bay, sighed and flew away. Another one had a mobile depot with 37 million ISK in loot which I could neither take, nor return to its owner. The only satisfaction I got from that journey was tending caches – they gave me a feeling of purpose in this otherwise unremarkable journey through higher-class Anoikis systems. Finally, after five or six jumps I discovered a wormhole which led to a C3.


Region C-R00011 – Constellation C-C00096
System J225949

“There is a cache that needs to be tended,” informed me Allison on arrival.

“Aha,” rubbed her hands Aura, “this means that your corp mates haven’t visited this system for a while so we can hope for some undisturbed relic sites. What are you waiting for? Let’s scan down all those juicy signatures!” Continue reading “Cowardly Buzzard”

Thera Sightseeing

Testing Facilities
Genesis Region – Mih Constellation
Serren System – Planet III

3 May YC 122

Having returned to scanning I quite soon pinned down a wormhole and warped to its location to check where it led. As Neocom showed its description, both Aura and I gasped – it was a wormhole to Thera! You probably know that my corp maintains a publicly available list of Thera connections but I never used it because I wanted to find that system myself. And finally I did!

Aura and I looked at each other and nodded, “Let’s go!” Continue reading “Thera Sightseeing”

Honest Work

Anoikis

17 April YC 122

“Are we done with your Tinder Games now?” asked Aura.

“What are you talking about? They’ve just started! And they are called Tender Games,” said I.

“Whatever. So what now, more photos?”

“Hmm… If there was a contest for a photo or a video of the cheekiest AI we would definitely be the winners,” I teased Aura who stuck her tongue at me in response. “But alas, we have to do it the hard way. The only other category in which I can possibly win a prize is The All-Star Grand Prix, which is awarded to a capsuleer who has tended the largest number of caches during this weekend.”

“And how do you propose to win that prize?”

“I have a pretty straightforward approach – by scanning and tending.”

“That sounds boring,” yawned Aura. “By the way, how will the judges know how many caches you’ve tended?”

“They’ll just check Allison’s logs.”

Aura suddenly looked alert, “Allison’s logs, you said?” Continue reading “Honest Work”

Tender Games: Motionless Picture Award

Region D-R00022 – Constellation D-C00213
System J110915

17 April YC 122

You might wonder why I went to all that trouble with obtaining a corpse and then carrying it to Anoikis. As I said before, I wanted to participate in another Tender Games competition, Motionless Picture Award. The prize in that category would be given to

The most beautiful, funny, surprising or simply relaxing picture…

Now, that was a real challenge. Beautiful sites in New Eden are a dime a dozen, and even cheaper in Anoikis. Put an elegant Astero on the front and you are a winner. My problem started with the fact that I didn’t have an Astero. And I didn’t want to buy an Astero just for a photo op. Even if I had an Astero, it wouldn’t guarantee that I would be noticed among the swarm of other Asteros buzzing around J-space and making selfies. There are probably more Astero owners in our corp than Astero-less folks; it’s Signal Cartel after all.

Feeling that getting a prize for the most beautiful shot was pretty chancy, I moved on to ‘funny’ and ‘surprising’. Don’t ask me how I came up with that plan, I don’t know myself, but I thought that placing a corpse next to one of our rescue caches was a brilliant idea. At the same time, I realised that a simple shot of a lifeless body floating in space near a big metal box would not be enough. It could raise some eyebrows but more in a sense ‘what the hell is this?’ rather than ‘Wow!’ That’s when my involuntary art education paid off. Erm… Having written this, I realised that it would take some explanation. Continue reading “Tender Games: Motionless Picture Award”

Tender Games: I Did It My Way

Tending a Cache in a Capsule

17 April YC 122

It took me several hi-sec jumps before I found a wormhole which led to J-space.

“Thanks, Bob! I thought that I’d spend all weekend roaming hi-sec,” grumbled I and dived in.

Region A–R00001 – Constellation A-C00318
System J140121

“Captain, there is a rescue cache in this system which needs to be tended,” informed me Allison as soon as we arrived.

“Excellent!” said I and bookmarked a safe spot.

Parking my Buzzard in the middle of the middle of nowhere I yawned and said, “I’ll take a nap. If anyone calls, I am not here.”

“Aren’t you going to tend that cache?” asked Allison and Aura in unison.

“If I tend it now it will not count toward my Tender Games tally. I’ll wait until 21:00 and then do my duty. Till then, nighty-night,” replied I and switched everything, except the cloaking device, off.

8 hours later… Continue reading “Tender Games: I Did It My Way”